


Mine

by fullmetalpotterhead



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Inej wonders sometimes what she wants from her relationship, Kaz is always worried Inej will slip away, Post-Canon, Sharing a Bed, Stolen Moments, low-key they're both a bit possessive, pirate inej, these kids will never have a normal relationship, they are so young and unprepared for love, we appreciate the little milestones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22428406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetalpotterhead/pseuds/fullmetalpotterhead
Summary: Shameless fluff indulging in Inej and Kaz's long distance sort of relationship as Kaz overcomes his touch aversion.
Relationships: Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa
Comments: 4
Kudos: 190





	1. Kaz

**Author's Note:**

> I read the first book for class, adopted Inej, had to read the second book immediately, and wrote this first chapter during another class. I'm feral for these murder children, I'm so proud of them.

Inej didn’t question why Kaz wouldn’t kiss her hello and goodbye the way Jesper and Wylan did. Didn’t try to lean against him in public like the rest of the group seemed to have no issue doing with each other. She took his gloved hand when it was offered, and his ungloved hand for as long as he would offer it. In the private of their rooms she’d sometimes brush a hand across his face, always talking when she did so so that he had something to focus on. Ground himself on. The Wraith had always been patient, a good spider had to be. But Inej Ghafa was endlessly patient with him in ways he still wasn’t sure he deserved.

And maybe that was why he asked her to stay in his room that night. Unlike him, Inej didn’t recoil at touch. Most normal people didn’t. Normal people loved to touch and be affectionate and Saints if he didn’t  _ want _ to touch her. But it was a constant battle to touch her properly; set off alarm bells that were very different from the light and giddy feelings lovers were supposed to have. Ones he assumed Inej probably had. 

Yet, Kaz knew also as he watched her moving into his bed in a borrowed shirt and slightly too big trousers that it wasn’t the only reason he’d invited her over. He knew as he slipped off his gloves with shaking hands and reached out to meet her halfway, foreheads and noses touching, his invitation was a selfish one. He closed his fingers around her hand, swallowing and meeting her eyes, gearing himself up in an attempt to make good on his promise to hold her, even if only for a bit, tonight. He could see in her eyes and hear in her soft tones that she had no expectations for him. He could change his mind, turn around here and say he needed pillows between them space for the night, their mental contact filling in the gaps the physical couldn’t. But Kaz didn’t want to lose her like this.

Inej Ghafa was not his Wraith anymore. The people in the Barrel still knew better than to mess with her because of her reputation, and Kaz still sometimes got the chance to knock an idiot down for making a pass at  _ his  _ girl, but it wasn’t the same as the bond they’d had before. She’d always been good at slipping away and some nights he felt a clawing certainty that she’d slip out of his sights forever. She didn’t belong to him– to anybody. She owed him no debts, what he did to free her from her past had been paid back or given freely, and though she still held all his secrets, she had no job bringing her back. It was part of what he liked best about her. It was part of what scared him the most.

“You’re reaching your limit, Kaz,” Inej acknowledged softly, forever understanding and patient with him and he wanted nothing more than to be able to just crash his face against hers and show everyone she was still his. She was  _ more  _ his than before. But she wasn’t and he couldn’t and he felt that truth tight in his throat as he let go of her hands. 

So he let her put up pillows between them and fell asleep exchanging schemes and gossip with her.

* * *

Waking up to Inej in his bed, he decided, was a very nice experience, even if he hadn’t managed to cuddle her properly last night. Sitting up, he looked down at her, smiling slightly at the sight of her hair in a mess and her hands curled around the edge of her pillow. She was a dangerous one. It was the quiet moments like this that he felt that knowledge not as a gang boss, but as a boy who was completely and utterly wrapped around her finger. That boy in him wanted to brush her hair and wake her with a kiss, but that reality felt far away. 

He wasn’t sure how long he spent with those daydreams and the sleepy appreciation of her presence in his bed before he saw her eyes meet his. Had she been awake long? He hadn’t detected a change in her breathing, but he couldn’t be sure and he felt himself warm at the thought that she might have been examining him too, in her own way.

“Can I borrow your brush?” She didn’t bring up his staring, or more accurately, she didn’t  _ say  _ anything about it. He could see the teasing in her eyes as well as the softness that made him weak.

“Go ahead.” Kaz moved to get ready himself, not bothering to leave the room. He knew it bothered her when he did that, it always had. Before it seemed to wind her up, now it had the added bonus of her showing him pink cheeks and a snappy comment about his lack of manners. But today the comment didn’t come. Instead came the sounds of clothes shifting from behind him and turning around revealed Inej changing too, her blush there, but the rest of her schooled and absolutely ruthless considering the teenage boy in him was already a sappy mess from waking up the way they had. She met his eyes in a way that was reminiscent of a challenge, and if it had come from another girl, he might had thought it was an invitation for something more. But he knew Inej and him were a long way from that and the way her eyes were alight with defiance told him the challenge was more payback than temptation. She really was dangerous in so many ways.

His eyes lingered on her as she went to get his brush and Kaz stopped in his attempt to grab his gloves. “Wait. Let… me do it.” 

She looked surprised but flipped the brush to offer it to him, watching as he set down the glove he’d been about to put on and took it from her. He watched as Inej sat down and found he missed the look of her in clothes. It had seemed to keep her to him more, a reminder of their bond. A reminder she was his. Sort of.

He took up her hair gently, brushing it out and feeling the silence that laid between them with each stroke. Their breathing felt so loud, though he knew there was hardly any sound being made between them. He couldn’t seem to stop fixating on the gentle way her shoulders rose and fell, the tiny twitches when he caught a snag. He quickly stopped catching snags though, deft fingers detangling knots so the brush didn’t have to rip through them. He knew, too soon, her hair was finished. She knew it too. Still, Inej stayed quiet as he continued to brush out her hair. Eventually, he had to admit to himself that he didn’t have any reason to keep up the endless brushing, but he found his hands still slipping back through her hair, gathering it together in his hands. 

“You could braid it.” 

“Am I your barber now?” As if he wasn’t the one to start this whole thing. As if his heart wasn’t going crazy with stupid teenage excitement. He separated out her hair into three neat sections, finding a rhythm in braiding. Even brushing lightly against her as he twisted them together didn’t seem to bother him now. Yet, again, there was only so long it could last. “The guys at the Barrel would say I was whipped if they knew I was over here doing your hair.”

Inej looked up at him, smug. “The slavers already know you as my errand boy.”

“Not even a boyfriend?”

“Well you certainly aren’t warming by bedchambers.” She joked, but he knew there was a bit of truth in that. He wasn’t her boyfriend, not really. She still visited, but until Kaz could give himself over completely, she wouldn’t either. He knew that. He respected that. 

And he wanted to tell her that one day he would. That one day he’d kiss her freely and never touch her with gloves again. That he’d be hers, truly and honestly and the way he knew she wanted. That Kaz Brekker would overcome his past and walk forward as a man who lived fully in the present. A man who deserved her. 

But he did not know when that day would come. And it may be that she would move on with someone more willing to give themselves over to her. More worthy of her. All he had been able to give her was the remainder of his secrets and a few short touches like what’d he’d managed last night. So in exchange, he only had the moments that she allowed. The brief visits that he savored. 

“Next time you visit I’ll see if we can change that.” He said it with more bravado than he felt, and they both knew undressing was a long way off. But maybe if he did his best while she was gone he could get himself closer to comfortable with the idea of holding her right, at least for a few minutes. 

“You can borrow my clothes then.”

Kaz snorted and rolled his eyes. “I don’t think they’ll fit me.”

“No,” she mused, a teasing quirk to her lips, “but it could show my crew that you’re mine.”

Hers. That sounded nice.

  
  



	2. Inej

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inej is the best and that's that on that.

Inej often asked herself what she wanted from Kaz Brekker. The answer often changed. Some days, particularly after she’d spent time with her parents, she wanted him romantic. Presents of flowers instead of knives. Love letters when he heard she was in town. 

But if Kaz ever gave her a love letter she suspected she would search it for hours for a hidden message instead of enjoying the gesture and she knew he was more likely to buy her a flower shop or a garden plot than just some already cut blooms. More practicality in that, and longer lasting. It wasn’t as if he was a bad gift giver, and once when she told her parents about Kaz’s latest gift, her papa smiled and told her that sometimes flowers came in many forms.

Sometimes she wanted Kaz affectionate. Wanted to be tangled in his limbs and feel his lips on her skin. But he wasn’t ready for that and if she was honest, she still wasn’t sure if she’d want it if he gave it to her quite yet. She didn’t often flinch at his touch; she nearly always knew when Kaz was going to touch her. He geared himself up for it, then let it hang between them like a physical thing, a bubble that grew bigger and bigger until they were nestled inside it comfortably. When the bubble popped and he drew back, she knew the significance of the touch for him, how much effort it took him yet also how much happiness it brought him. Inej liked that she could see how wanted she was, but always softly and slowly, giving her plenty of time to adjust to the water. It left her confident that when the day did one day come, she wouldn’t flinch away or drift from her body but be right there with him.

At times she wanted Kaz kinder, or perhaps just more sociable. If they were in public he drifted to corners and closed off, all sharp retorts and bored looks, even among their close friends. But that wasn’t fair to Kaz. She’d known when she fell for him he was godless and incapable of dropping his sarcasm. Their friends knew it too, and they could get him to branch out a bit, better than when she stopped by to reconnect with some of the other Dregs at least. She liked the person he was behind closed doors, and at the end of the day she always came back to that. She could enjoy their friends without him if he wanted to be insufferable about it.

Most often though, Inej wanted Kaz honest. When she’d told him that once, he’d laughed at her. 

“If you wanted honest you shouldn’t have chosen to cozy up to the Bastard of the Barrel. If I clean up my act you’ll be without the influence of the best gang in Ketterdam.”

But Kaz was honest with her more and more as time went by. She’d long been his secret keeper as the Wraith, but now it was deeper than that. Kaz couldn’t always face her for a goodbye kiss or touch her with ungloved hands, but he did take off his other armor. During her visits they traded stories and more and more she noticed the personal details he took the time to share. It was hard at first, she could tell. His stories would begin to stutter stop, and she’d share one she thought might be of the same weight for her based on the concentration on his face as he tried to find the right words. Almost always her opening up helped him do it, as if he had to know his opponent had truly put down their weapons before he could make himself vulnerable. He was better at it now, more willing to admit to his troubles and, delightfully, the small things he took joy in. 

Today as her crew pulled into the harbor she didn’t want any of those Kazs. Well, she did, but mostly she wanted the Kaz that was a normal person.

Rumors swirled when Inej Ghafa first began to take down slavers. Dirtyhand’s Wraith was working solo and she was calling shots no one would have expected. To many in Ketterdam she would only ever be the Wraith, but for some, she was becoming Inej Ghafa, a ferocious name in its own right. It was exhilarating to hear her name, her real name, spoken in hushed whispers of awe or fear– depending on the scum saying it. For many of the would-be slaves she rescued, she was  _ only _ Inej Ghafa. Though the inner workings of street gangs meant something to Ketterdam, the outside world didn’t know or care who the Wraith was. But they cared about Inej Ghafa now. She hadn’t realized the full effect that had on perceptions in Ketterdam until she’d heard the rumors. 

_ Dirtyhands was in Ghafa’s backpocket.  _

_ The Dregs are Ghafa’s lackeys.  _

_ Ghafa is remaking Ketterdam and she’s making Brekker do all the gruntwork for her. _

_ Maybe the Wraith was always the one pulling the strings. _

It wasn’t surprising people could put together Kaz and her were working together. Wylan got plenty of flak for associating with Kaz still and for marrying a former Dreg member. His support of Inej’s efforts to keep the anti-slave laws were open and well known. None of them tried to keep their involvement with each other secret, it would just cause problems when anyone with the slightest hint of brain pointed it out if they did. While Kaz didn’t promote her the way Wylan did, they were seen out together sometimes and Kaz did make moves that directly benefited her cause cleaning up the businesses who relied on slavery in Ketterdam. 

What was surprising to her was how people had framed it. Kaz as her lackey? She’d brought it up last visit just to test the waters, but he hadn’t seemed surprised. Likely he’d heard the rumors first, being in Ketterdam full time with open ears. Likely he just hadn’t seen a reason to tell her. Why was she dwelling on it so much anyways? Did it really bother her that much that strangers and old acquaintances alike thought she was ordering him around?

But that much she truthfully thought was a little funny. Looking back, she knew she’d had a sway over Kaz’s decisions for some time, but she couldn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to. The idea she’d become bigger and badder than him made her feel smug yet… Inej couldn’t help but linger on the realization that the reason the rumor spread so easily was because Ketterdam couldn’t conceive as Dirtyhands and the Wraith as people. Just a girl and a boy who liked each other and were doing their best to see how that worked out for them. They were monsters that lurked in the dark, not two kids still trying to learn how dating worked or decide if they even were. 

Being a monster suited many purposes for Inej. She was more respected and left alone. Unlike Kaz though, she didn’t play the monster with her crew. She laughed and cried with them. Sang and danced and put on plays to pass the time or cheer up the kidnapped people they’d rescued. So maybe that’s why it had left discomfort creeping in her mind during free hours after hearing one of her gunners call Kaz her drudge. He’d stopped laughing quickly when he was only met with her confused expression, the rest of whatever his joke was completely lost on her. 

“You can go out in the town today, Specht.” Inej told her first mate as they pulled into the harbor.

“Don’t you usually want to scope it out the first night?” He was used to being the one to go out after her, and only after her, in nearly every port they docked but especially Ketterdam.

“Kaz will update me on everything when he stops by and what he doesn’t I’ll see tomorrow. Deliver this to him so he remembers to keep our appointment.”

Specht grinned, and for a moment she felt she’d been caught. She thought Specht must know how she felt about the boy and that their meeting wasn’t one of pure business, but of lovers, or something close to it at least. But instead he said, with a chuckle in his voice, “You can take the crow from the Dregs, but you can’t take the Dregs from the crow huh? Our Captain has allies everywhere.”

The embarrassment slipped away. Oh. Allies. She somehow disliked that even more, it made it seem more businesslike. At least if Kaz was her lackey she had some sort of effect over him. 

After a bit of time fiddling with his looking glass, Specht snorted. “Captain, I’m not sure the letter is needed.” Specht handed it over. “Check our spot.”

Inej did, realizing with a sort of warm rush that Kaz was already waiting for them to dock. She hadn’t had a set day planned to come back, but she knew he had people who watched the harbor. Had he remembered her invitation for him to spend the night on her ship next time he visited? Usually they stayed in Ketterdam on her visits back. She missed it, liked seeing how it changed. Her ship didn’t change. There was no real reason for Kaz to see it every time. Usually she would explore the streets of Ketterdam for awhile, stop by the Van Eck house to talk with Jesper and Wylan, maybe sit and appreciate the loss of an unsavory business. Only after that would she slip down to the Slat to visit Kaz. Her giddiness was lost as another thought hit her mind. Something had gone wrong to make Kaz break their unsaid routine. Someone had been hurt or the Slat had been burned or… Saints she hoped it wasn’t true.

Inej kept a cool face as her crew took leave, those that were left settling into games or chores they hadn’t finished. Inej felt dread pooling as she heard Kaz’s cane tapping against her deck. But then she met his eyes and the dread vanished. He was fine, the slight tilt of his eyebrows letting her know he was not here to be Kaz Brekker, Dregs Boss warning her of a bad fight, but Kaz Brekker, Inej’s… something. He’d taken his gloves off and waited for her to give him some direction as to what she needed to do or where they were going.

Her crew seemed surprised to see him onboard and she supposed it would be weird to them. Even if they were aware Dirtyhands was her informant and help on land, Kaz was still a bit like an urban legend for most of them. 

Inej offered her hand, turning to her crew as Kaz took it. “I will be in my cabin if anyone needs me. Knock before you enter.”

Kaz raised an eyebrow but said nothing until the door was closed. “Are you… showing me off?”

Inej hoped the warmth in her cheeks didn’t show. “And if I am?”

Kaz seemed to stand a bit taller and Inej thought back to her last visit with Nina, when talk had turned to flirting by chance. 

_ “Men want to feel wanted and special too. Everyone just wants to feel like they have your full attention and appreciation. Do that and anyone will bend at your feet.” _

_ “I’m not having any trouble getting people to bend at my feet.” _

_ Nina huffed. “You know what I mean.” _

Inej thought she did, now. Kaz seemed less uncomfortable than usual, in spite of the continued contact. Almost like he was preening for her, and she almost laughed at that thought. “So what’s the news around the city?” She said instead as they sat on her bed, hands still clasped between them as Kaz told her what she’d missed. The progress they’d made and the stupid scermishes that filled his time. 

After awhile, he ran out of business talk, a shaky breath telling her that the personal parts had come. “I practiced with Jesper while you were gone.”

“Practiced?” She knew he had been trying to touch people more while she was gone. Never during work, but during off time or when he was simply watching the streets in some club. He’d mentioned a few times letting his hand sit just touching Jesper or Wylan until they moved– the stories were, in her opinion, even better told from their completely unaware perspective. But something in the way he spoke told her it was something more than that level.

“I told him he could put his arm around me.” His mouth twisted in distaste at the words and Inej couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t you start too. Wylan accused me of trying to steal his husband.”

“Well it is a strange thing to say to someone.” She couldn’t wait to hear Jesper recount how weird Kaz was while she was gone. “Did he do it?”

“Yes.” He met her eyes straight on, though it was difficult for him to look at her when he spoke honestly, afterwards it seemed to soothe him. At times Inej felt she got more out of the looks he gave her after he’d spoken than during the time he had. 

“Did you just happen to be at the docks?”

He shook his head, his gaze starting to slip as he got embarrassed. “I… wanted to come over. Like I promised last time.”

Inej smiled at him, leaning towards him and letting their noses brush. She could feel the shiver go through him, but he’d assured her many times before the reaction wasn’t completely an unpleasant one, though it wasn’t perfect either. Inej pulled back all the same, the little brush enough to get her feelings across without pushing him too far. “Will it help later if I stop touching you now?”

“No,” He said cautiously, as if he was weighing the best course of action. “As long as you continue speaking I believe it will be fine.”

So she did. She told him about her latest trip and her new plans. She told him about how Nina was doing and the latest shenanigans with her crew. Inej knew his tells for when he was reaching his limits. His hand always moved so that his thumb could find her pulse when he was having trouble staying present. She let him stay like that a story longer before letting go. Kaz had good and bad days for contact, but he nearly always had a cooldown period after prolonged contact like this, and if she let him push himself too far it would just be harder on him. 

“It’s almost dinner.” She stood, letting her hand drop his. “Come make the rounds with me.”

He took his cane, considering his gloves stuffed in his pocket before simply standing up to follow after her barehanded. Despite the lack of gloves though, Kaz regained the hardness in his face that fit a Barrel boss. With the way he looked now, trailing after her surveying the ship and talking business, she could understand why people couldn’t comprehend the idea of them something friendlier. Kaz wasn’t exactly the warm feelings type, and at times she fell into his pace, able to put up hard edges and scary plans if she so desired. But her crew snapped her out of it, bringing out the dreamy excitement and genuine love she had for her position. 

Dinner was loud, and she knew it wasn’t what Kaz preferred, but she also knew it wasn’t unfamiliar to him with the Dregs. Besides, she had always made it clear to him she wasn’t going to stop her own growth for his, he didn’t have to take dinner with the crew if he didn’t want to. So Inej let herself fall into the rowdy, happy yells of her crew over dinner. She noticed a few whispers and nods at Kaz, but she wouldn’t bother to worry about that for now. What did it matter what other people thought of their relationship anyways? It was what it was, and what it was was no one’s business.

“We’re headed back to my cabin for the night, don’t get too drunk and knock before you enter,” Inej announced as she got up from dinner as the moon hung high.

“Get it, Captain!” One of them whistled and Inej felt heat rush to her face.

“What?”

Other crewmates slapped the guy, hushing him. 

“Harrison, at attention and explain.” Inej demanded, feeling fluttery and girly extremely glad for her poker face.

“Sorry, Captain,” he grinned sheepishly, “Dirtyhands just was lookin’ at you all night so I thought…”

Inej knew there was no way she wasn’t blushing now, but hopefully the darkness hid it. Was that really how they looked? Based on the shuffling and giggling of the other crewmates, she knew Harrison wasn’t the only one to have been thinking it tonight, just the only one stupid enough to say it. “What I do in my quarters is private. Come on, Kaz.” She offered her hand to take him back to her room, completely red as she noticed her crew exchanging money. They’d bet on it? In favor of it? Despite her embarrassment she felt almost exhilarated as she closed the door to her room behind Kaz.

They weren’t a perfect couple. Maybe they weren’t even a couple. But they were Inej and Kaz, and today that was all she wanted.

  
  



End file.
